On Loss

To love without holding anything back is one of life’s true gifts.

Dear Friends:

This month's post is a sad one and if you have lived long enough, you have probably experienced loss: of a parent, friend, spouse, or, I hope not...a child. If you have had pets, you have probably experienced the loss of a pet. Recently, our beloved Golden Retriever, just shy of his ninth birthday, was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. We wanted more time, of course, and expected him to live as long a our other Golden whom we had for 14 years. This time around, we wouldn't be so lucky.

We had a little over a month to love up our pup and let him do basically anything he wanted. He didn't want much. I let him stop and sniff for a very long time on our walks. And, we fed him so many treats. Near the end, my husband cooked up chicken just for him. Contrary to my daily declutters, hours before I knew he was sick, I bought another leaf shaped dog bed for him to lie on. That was pretty much the lap of luxury for him.

Our entire family was and still is in spirit very attached to this dog. Our kids were young when we adopted him. They helped raise him from a puppy and he got them through the isolation of the pandemic. He was my constant companion on my daily walks and at home while I worked. He eased my husband's stressful days with evening walks.

Our home feels empty without our most loved family member. And, reminders surround us: the leaf shaped dog beds, the bowls, the remaining food, ALL the treats in the pantry. I have washed the dog beds, now the bowls and reached out to friends with dogs regarding the consumables. I will consult with the rest of my family regarding this stuff, because just as there is no one way to grieve, there is no one way to let go of the physical reminders.

I share this, not to make you sad, but to confirm that if you are grieving, or have grieved the loss of a loved one (human or otherwise) there is no one way to do it. Some will insist on getting rid of everything, right away, while others will hold on for decades. Either way, in grand sceme of things it doesn't matter. It's up to you. Do what feel right and in the words of Adriene Misler "Find what feels good".

All my best,

Carolyn

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